May 11

May 11…. a day that has been weighing on me heavily the last few days.  A day that will always be a reminder of God’s sovereignty.  This day has be significant since the moment we received information about our daughter.   But, I didn’t realize just how significant until a couple of months ago.

For those close to us you are aware that the beginning of 2017 was a very rough time for both sides of our family.   Brain surgery for one family member, another spent nearly two months in ICU, death of a family member, strokes, and just general life, all in the span of two months.  It was hard and it was stressful.  And while I believed in God’s sovereignty, I believed God could heal (and even if he didn’t He was still good), it was stressful on our family.  I spent many days crying out to God.  Every day I would hear that still small voice to look at his faithfulness.  I’d run through several events in my life where I had clearly seen God’s faithfulness, including our path to adopt our daughter.  But, I began to feel God pushing me to look deeper at his faithfulness.  I began to pray over this and write down everything he had done and when I really started looking at our path to Emily I saw his faithfulness and sovereignty in a way I’d never seen before.

May 11, 2014, around 1:30am an anonymous call was made to the police about a baby girl.  Shortly after that call the police placed this little girl, now our daughter, in the arms of a nanny at the orphanage just one block away from her finding spot.  May 11, 2014 was Mother’s Day.

One year later, on Mother’s Day, Greg and I had our very first conversation about adoption.  I always knew that conversation occurred on Mother’s Day because we were in Washington DC and had just finished brunch at the Kennedy Center.  But, I never really thought about the timing or the actual date…until recently.  Because of what I know about when we ate and the time stamp on pictures I know that conversation occurred sometime around around 12:30pm  on May 10, 2015, (May 11 at 1:30am in China).  Exactly one year after our daughter was placed in the arms of a new caregiver, while her biological parents were mourning that fateful decision and the impact on their lives, Greg and I were discussing adoption, a step that would forever change our lives and our daughter’s.

May 11, 2016 we boarded a plan for China.

When we began the initial paperwork for the adoption process one of the questions we had to answer was about our attitude toward the biological parents. I honestly hadn’t thought about it and really didn’t know how I felt, my focus was always on the children.  I gave an answer but I’d answer it completely different today.  There are times I watch my daughter and I wish I could tell them she’s safe, she’s happy, she’s growing.  As I have the joy of watching my daughter discover a world that was pretty much hidden from her for two years, I sometimes stop and grieve for the mom who has no idea where her daughter is or what she looks like.  I just recently discovered that May 11, 2014 was Mother’s Day.  I can’t imagine the agonizing decision she made; whether it was family pressure, finances or some other reason, I will never know.  I know very little, and can only make assumptions based on the little I do know, but I believe she was trying to choose a better life for her daughter.  Because of this mother’s decision, and our decision to say ‘yes’ to the call God placed on our hearts, I have the privilege of raising this little girl as my daughter.  I hope her biological mom would be proud of this amazing little girl, all that she has overcome and all that she will become.  God has a plan for this little girl.  He has been guiding our steps since before she was even born.

Psalm 92:4-5

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!

I sing for joy because of what you have done.

O Lord, what great works you do!

And how deep are your thoughts.

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6 Responses to May 11

  1. Laurie says:

    God’s perfect timing!

    Like

  2. Katy says:

    Lindsey, I am sorry to hear your family has had a rough start to the year. I am glad to hear the update on your sweet daughter, and I love the timing coincidences. Hope you are enjoying the spring and looking forward to summer!

    Like

  3. Bob Chapman says:

    Our God is sovereign and works in wonderful ways to provide the best for your family. Praise His Almighty Name!

    Like

  4. James Nevins says:

    Would be very difficult to add anything so well written. Others in this world should read it.

    Like

  5. Angie Moreno says:

    Lindsey, May the Lord continue to comfort and bring joy to you and your family. What a beautiful Mother’s Day story God is writing through you. God definitely has a plan that is more that we could ever imagine or write on our own. We still need to get together for coffee or lunch someday soon.
    Hugs to you and your family.

    Like

  6. Jeff R Gilleland says:

    John 14:21
    Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me.
    And because they love me my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal
    myself to each of them.

    So fitting to your post. Love how God orchestrated and then revealed himself within His plan
    for you, Emily, and bio parents in China.

    Jeff and I talk of this now and again, within the day in day out living of life, it’s easier and easier to almost forget the amazing miracle of how our two youngest came to be a part of our family and how God worked it all. It’s super fun to read your posts and to be reminded and comforted by the fresh realities you are experiencing and sharing with us all. Thank you!
    Sheri

    Like

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